BLUE SKY AND THE SEA

Opened my eyes, just clear blue sky and sea is all I can see.
In this deserted island there is no other soul, there is nothing but me.

As my consciousness drifted apart.
I can only focus on one thing, the sound of my beating heart.

Thirst is all I can sense now, other sense seems to fail in my misery.
How I ended up here is still an unsolved mystry.

My eyes are hurting with strong gaze of sun.
My mind is telling me move to the shade but my body is unable to run.

I don't think I will die just yet but I know for sure I won't live much longer.
As my body is getting weaker by minute and hunger is getting stronger.

I can't tell the time but when sun will be low and temperature little down.
I will muster up all my courage and make my move around.

As the time passes by I realized one thing.
That death is real but dream is of forever living.

As the sun is setting I moved my hand to support myself for standing.
Than only I realized the weight of my body and energy I am exerting.

Harder I tried to crawl towards the leafy beach.
The more I realized my life is out of my reach.

But still through all the pain and suffering as made to the uneven bark of that long tree.
I heard the sound of a miracle over me, chopper flying near by me.

Exhausted and dehydrated, still I managed to shout with my dry and low voice.
But as seeing the result of my doubtful attempt my mind became blank without my choice.

I felt a softer ground as if I am in heaven and breeze on my skin as if an floating.
Opening my eyes I saw the view of my blissful life, my family, friends and doctors debating.

I missed them so much, I missed my life.
Though it was just a couple of days but still my thoughts were in strife.
I loved it to be back in the city and between it's noise and lights.
But sometimes just sometimes I miss that island and it's quite.

                        - Kajal Panwar

MY SUPERPOWER IS MOVING ON

Love is no friend of mine,
Hurt and guilt would just treat me fine.
The imperfections of our perfect future,
Was all I wanted to make right.
But behind those sweet gestures was
A mean heart which held grudges tight.
It's all right, ur lies can't tear me anymore,
Because my superpower is moving on.

I really wanted someone who would swipe me off my feet.
A prince charming or a Sinbad with a fleet.
Just one moment of love in which I can just doze off.
Holding hands, candle light dinners or just a simple correction of my gloss.
But it's okk now even if fairytales are not true.
Because things like unicorn or true love doesn't easily come to you.

So let this love be a mystery, an unforgettable tale to be told.
An unnoticed gesture of kindness and untamed passion to behold.

                   - Kajal Panwar

BUT I CHOOSE MYSELF

I do wanna kiss those lips,
Before getting off from your car.
I do want those hugs,
Sudden and exciting as they are.
But m gonna choose myself ,
And rise up against all odds.
I do wanna love you so much,
I did try to win that heart.

I do wish to sleep beside you,
Every night could have been a beautiful hour.
I do wanna hold those hands,
Every day would have bloomed like a spring flower.
But m gonna be myself,
To be on top and independent.
I do wanna keep you,
I did wish you upon the shooting star.

I do wish to be with you,
In everything and every hour.
I do wanna be your life,
Be your strength and power.
I do wish to be your future,
Even if m not your past.
I do wanna live my life for you
And love you till it last.

But I have dreams to fill with reality.
I have to prove myself to me.
Even if I can't accomplish them in this lifetime.
I Know I'll leave my legacy to my family tree.

                - Kajal Panwar

WE LOVE AND LOVE AGAIN

We love and love again...
We embrace this feeling of desire multiple times in our life.Sometimes with the same person but sometimes its not.. to fall in love all over again is challenging but to be able to love is enough in itself but to be loved is mesmerizing ....  isn't it? But that's not always the case some time you have to hold onto your feeling before letting it all go without being noticed... this feeling is worse than dying but still worth living cause you got to see them every day even if it makes you fall apart every single time.
It may not always be a happy ending but we can't put stopper over it. The anxiety never goes away, that painful clenching of heart really does hurt and we know all this will never go away so soon. 

But someday we hope to let go of it with smile that is real , with the strength to stand strong and laugh and with mind that is free from anguish. 
Maybe there will be a time when all of it will look like a dream, maybe there will be still some way when we can look back at it with smile.

If not today than tomorrow, if not now than later but there will be a future where it will all be less painful and it will all be over.


                                                    -Kajal Panwar

WE LOVE TO GET FIXED

Preach us nothing cause upto the core we are filled with enticing thoughts of getting lost,
Crowd around taught us what life is and what happiness costs.
With this chivalrous mask we can still manage to sink in the depth of being wrong,
Acceptance of unacceptable humor just made us laugh long.

It's hard to find the true face of man,
People nowadays are interested in playing pretend.
The chaos of this mass is just any ordinary event,
While the silence of a soul is something to prevent.

It's always me but not us,
There is a crowd to be while their feelings in a rush.
All we want now is being always surrounded,
Cause loneliness is something u feel when grounded.

People now face insecurities with question,
And made their mind on one person's decision.
We couldn't face the no we couldn't take the risk,
Because in this universe of ours we don't love to get healed but to get fixed.
                                - Kajal Panwar

Legacy

I wish I could be more of a green than grey.
Would have lived a life more fulfilling than being lost astray.
Dreamed a lot of becoming someone with social standing.
But little did I know this world loves only perfect landing.

Through with texture of multiple sadness.
I know my quest isn't real that it is a madness.
Being broken wasn't I was looking forward to.
Even the merciless herd of these deaf people bid me adieu.

Scars were the only trophy I could acquire.
Left me with this unsatisfying thirst for more desire.
I couldn't span my wings to flaunt my glory.
Because for royals my methods weren't holy.

My ideas were my only weapon.
The path I chose and the things I did where meant to happen.
In the battle field of right and wrong.
I chose the metal that made me strong.
Whether I fly or I die but I know by this my name will live on.

                     - Kajal Panwar

IN LOVE WITH ALL THE GREEN AND ALL THE BROWN

I can endure the soreness, 
Because I meant to reach that mountain top.
My feet may become numb,
But I want to explore the wild and means to adopt.

This untamed world of wild,
Tickle me to the core.
The water that runs through those rocky pathways,
And those absurdly fallen leaves that I adore.

Be it those rainy days or a snowy night,
Either covered with fog or with a rainbow crown.
They certainly are my delight,
I am just in love with all the green and all the brown.

I can spend whole day here,
By just being mesmerized by you.
And fill my body with endless love,
And my soul with it too.

                               - kajal panwar

WHAT IF I SAY NO?

What if I say no? Will you judge?
Now a days people are becoming more and more judgemental. They give their bias opinion when someone says no to them. They give their non rational logic and reasoning.
But why, why is it necessary. Why can't they agree to disagree? Why is there any need to explain , why we do what we do?

" When you judge another, you don't define them, you define yourself."- Wayne Dyer.

It's healthy to give advice to someone that can be helpful but it is up to them if they follow or not. But being persistent about it ruins your goodwill. There may have been a time when your opinion provided them strength when they needed it most but time changes so does situation. If someone needs your help they will ask for it you don't need to push it. 

"Stubborn and ardent clinging to ones's opinion is the best proof of stupidity." - Michel de Montaigne.

So if someone gives you attention but doesn't follow your advice, instead of judging them be there and be supportive of the choices they make. Because some day they might need you but after seeing you being all negative, they won't even bother to ask. And you might loose someone who use to hold their horses for you in life's race. 

                                                                          - KAJAL PANWAR

TAINTED

My multiple bruises won't bother you.
Because for you it was a sight to behold.
You tainted my world with your filthy greed.
But society blamed me and it was "My Fault" I was told.

You blamed my skirt than my saree.
You blamed my late working hours and than my character as for you I was not an "Abla nari".

You toyed with my body to satisfy your never ending desire.
As if I was put on this planet to quench your lust otherwise my worth will expire.

Now people look at me as I am the one guilty.
As if I was the one who desired to be raped.
They blame me or the circumstances,
But when it comes to the one who did the deed, their mouth remain taped.

So I pray to my Creator,
Please don't let me born again as a girl.
Because now in this world of your's,
They are treated like stone not as pearl.

                                 - Kajal Panwar

MY HOME

Can I still count the days?
Can I still wait for a praise?

I will do anything to make you turn my way.
U r the key to my heart that is locked away.

My love for you is beyond the ocean and the sky.
I will be the wild for you and the butterfly.

Can I be the one wishing  you upon the shooting stars? 
Can I shatter the limits you set and the bars?

I can be little too overjoyed cause you're the reason why.
All I listen to is your voice and your sweet little "hi".

Your eyes looks so pretty when you try explaining.
Your sweet little hand gestures and your confused replying.

Your flushed face or your intense gaze makes my heart race.
The turmoil of multiple emotions on your face makes my efforts to restrain futile.

Can I be little gutsy and say those three words to you today?
Can I have the permission to make you the last desire of mine?

Cause when I look at you all I see is a place called home.
Place where you are my family and you are my own. 

                   - Kajal Panwar