ME

I adore the time when I smile and move on,
Where I love myself more than I ever did.
It must be fate that made me realize,
That what reside in me is a curious kid.

I wish to play with wind,
walk over the clouds to grab stars.
I hope I can be my last love
 And heal all my scars.

I promise that today I will become more of me
Than I was ever before.
I will learn to fly with a broken wing
And higher will I soar.

Be someone unique and be proud of it.
Be someone you will love and you wanna be with.
Be in love with your own being.
Be the real Me.

            - Kajal Panwar

ESCAPE FROM YOU

Danced on your hands, I thought that was love.
Gave you all I have got, but than also for you commitment was tough.
Became your personal sweet, I hoped that was enough.

You measured my feelings, whenever you wanted to be pleased.
Gave up all my adventure, so that your mind be at ease.
Your tight grip became suffocating, but for you it was a leash.

All was first for me,
But for you it was a trial.
I did what I could, I did what I should but all was futile.
Waited for you to reach out, but little did I know your heart was already vile.

Now please bridge my mind to my heart,
Cause it is in great turmoil.
Seldom, it goes bizarre but when it does all emotions get boil.
So i wish to escape from you, before I turn to soil.

              - Kajal Panwar

BEYOND THE HORIZON: LET IT ALL GO

BEYOND THE HORIZON: LET IT ALL GO: Just to become part of you I sacrificed my mere existence but you were that vast ocean in which a mere drop of tear couldn't find it...

IF I DIE

If I die, bury me in the sea.
At least in my death I will be free.

If I die, please don't cry.
Seeing you in tears will turn me dry.

If I die, please have a feast.
Because that will make everyone happy at least.

If I die, please don't blame anyone.
Because there is nothing anyone could have done.

If I die, please love yourself more.
From my behalf too because your the only one I adore.

If I die, please bury me in the sea.
Because than I will scatter in it, tell you how much I loved thee.

               - Kajal Panwar

A NO COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER

Silently for ages, I had feeling for you.
But for you love was another joke.
A No could have been better.

Courageously, I confessed my heart out to you.
But for you it was a show.
A No could have been better.

Seriously, I have loved you with all I have got.
But for you it was a chance to mock.
A No could have been better.

Relentlessly, I tried to move on.
But for you then it was a Yes.
A no could have been better.

Foolishly, I did fall for you again.
But by then you already tore me apart.
A No could have better.

                                  - Kajal Panwar

CAN I BE

Can I be the girl who loves you till the sunrise?
I wish to hold you close and tight,
when your fears become real and you can't sleep at night.
I hope to be a calming place,
Where you can lie down and your heart won't race.

Can I be the girl who loves you till the end of her times?
I prefer your voice over mine,
Your words are music to me
Like a wind chime.
I hope I can be the Nightingale,
Whenever u have a rough day n u become pale.

Can I be the girl who loves you even if you are not mine?
I wish to see you smile and filled with joy,
As happy as a summer boy.
Even if it is far far away,
I hope you remember that you have a place here whenever you wish to stay.

                                      - Kajal Panwar

TRAVEL AND SEE

I want to travel and see,
Place where the ocean meets the land in a starry night.
What a beautiful view it would be?

I want to travel high and low,
Place where you can feel your breath and touch your life
In the deep ocean or in the mountains covered with snow.

I want to travel to exotic places,
Where the culture is outlandish and people speak divergent dialect
and of unfamiliar races.

I want to travel to the pristine forest and lonely marooned land
Place where all you can hear and see is nature
Place where silence is music with a wonderful view of sand.

I want to travel around the globe,
Place where I can discover myself and where I can be Me
Cause I wish to sleep in arms of Gaia and merge with thee.

                                                  - Kajal Panwar

A NEW

Every time I sit on that couch near the window, I feel I can renew myself like the sun that is rising cheerfully in the morning sky. This feeling of something new in me is different , is special in many ways I can't even explain. This is what makes me feel alive every morning, this is what makes me actuate. Life can be difficult but it does give you many chances to make it work. Many times it is impossible to let go of our pain or to get over it but then we are the only one that can make us happy.So on each morning whenever you think its painful ,  think of the days when you shined the most, think about what gives you happiness, just gather enough courage to make through just one day, that day. Even if it is just one day, it will make you feel alive again and when you make it through the end of the day you feel that you have achieved something so special and so bright, that it will make you smile and feel confident, your own little self. Whenever we feel dejected and uncertain about something, we loose little piece of our own self to that muddle. So whenever you feel like that just do whatever that you are passionate about, because true passion draws out our inner self and makes us gleam like sun. Just do this, not for anyone but for yourself, at least we owe this much to life.

ALONE

I never wished for the moon, all I wanted from you was just to be a wish of your's upon a shooting star. Sometimes I think letting go wasn't the right thing to do, I could have tried more, compromised more, loved more but than I realized whenever I tried that you raised the bar. I always extended my hand you always waved it away. Sometimes I wish could have told you what you are making me do, what you are doing to my feelings, what was it that hurting me most and what were you becoming to me. 
It's hard being alone, its harder than I have ever imagined but still am breathing fine, I love being out in the evening, I think after some time I will make it through. I know now I can. 
Things don't change easily its you who have to take the first step. Situations change when you sort the way out, if you stand there wishing for someone to come and help than you are expecting something like zombies to be real. We all have a loving family and a loyal group of friends, they will always help you if you ask for, no one reads mind so you have to be clear about your demands what you want and what;s hurting you. Love is not a taboo so don't treat it like one, just tell them what went wrong. People come and go, its easy to say this but the process of letting go is painful for everyone, so don't go through with it alone. Be with friends or family instead of indulging in another black hole kind of relationship. First become sure of what you want from it than give it another shot. World if full of people, there are some beautiful souls out there who would love you more than you expect.

THE ONE THAT RESIDES IN EVERYONE

The one that resides inside everyone. Each one of us believe in god in one way or the other. One find peace in worshipping it. What we can't share with the world we share it with him. It doesn't matter which form of pooja or prayer you do,if you do it while keeping him in mind and it calms and relaxes you than that is all you need to do. Whether it is just chanting his name before sleep, watering tulsi or lighting a diya, whatever makes you one with him.
There is a part of god within us, we may not see it but it is always there, so doing anything we don't believe in just for the sake of religion, will never make us happy. There is no proper method of praying to your creator, you can do it the way you like.
Believing in good is all we need, even if one  doesn't believe in god,just believe in the good you do.