JUST, LET ME HEAL FIRST.

Just let me heal first.


If I Love you someday,
I would walk over to you and hand you my heart but just let me heal first.
Let me first feel the depth of hurt and soreness of loneliness.
So that when I learn to love again,
Again with a beating heart.

If I ever hold your hand someday,
Just don't let me go easily because I might be in need of a root, a place or a home.
So that when m done fighting within me I can return to you with who I am.

If I ever cry in front you someday,
Just don't try to calm me down with promises rather than soothe me with your silence and warmth.
So that when I learn to smile again I can share my rainbow with you.


                     -lakaj

FORGIVE ME, IF I'M WRONG

Forgive me, if I'm wrong.

If stand for myself,
If i stand for all i am,
Forgive me, if I'm wrong,
If i don't know how to sing your song.


I live for my dreams and ambition,
I cherish what needs to cherished.
I believe  in flying with open wings towards unknown destination,
Otherwise, this world will  die in my eyes and everything will be perished.

Forgive me, if I'm wrong,
If I don't wanna play along.

There are many things that are yet to be felt,
Yet to be known and yet to be seen.
I can't hide my wishes under a tie and belt,
I can't be a 9to5 being.

Forgive me, if I'm wrong.
If I never knew where to belong.

I maybe confused but I'm so damn sure.
That this is not me, I'm deep down somewhere very far from shore.
I do enjoy this wild and endless pursuit,
Of who I'll be and who I'll become.
Someday I'll find a place where I belong,
Where passion will be my sword,
For every battle of hesitation to overcome.

Forgive me, if I'm wrong.
If I plan on soaring the skyline, dive to the depth of ocean, the measure the deserted terrain and live in the midst of woodland.
 Forgive me, if I'm wrong.

       -lakaj

EARTH, OUR HOME

When will it be the last time,
When will it end,
Just when are we going to learn,
How to treat our environment right.

Many strikes have already occurred and lots of changes have been made but still they are no where near enough to repair the damage we, people, have caused over centuries.
We indulge in greed of breeding more, cutting more and building more but we forget what is it all resulting in, where is it causing the damage and what are its repercussions?
This our home, only planet discovered which can sustain us, and we are damaging it in so many ways and for so many years that some which have caused some irreversible changes. Even something as huge as biosphere of some places has been changed over the years of span.
Billions of species of animals, birds, insects, and every other living being is being eradicated or damaged to the point of no cure, by our non-stop usage of environmental resources for our benefit.
When will all this end?
Just how long will this be tolerated by our environment?
Many natural calamities are result of our greed. Many disasters are man-made now.
When are we going to understand that Earth will remain where it is as always but it is species who gets eradicated, now they are of other living beings, in future it can be us.
So let's stop this biased usage and do something about it. Let's not discuss and debate but act and show the result.
Because we can.
              -lakaj

LET GO

Rachel Greene " Didn't you think that you were just gonna meet someone, fall in Love and that'd be it ?"

We all imagined love to be simple and it is simple but what complicates it ? What makes it so hard ? Why does it make us feel miserable and vulnerable everytime any crisis arises?
Answer to all that is "US". We complicate things with meaningless expectations when we already know the answer. We ask for attention, explanations or any meaning behind their actions. We become miserable and pitiful in fighting our own battle to find that excuse which portray them right in our mind.

"Some say we can't choose who we fall in love with; love chooses us." - Alexandra Adornetto

Yes, we can't choose who we love but we can prevent things from becoming detrimental. We can choose to step back and be peaceful about it.

Though letting go isn't easy but if hold onto a rope too tightly, at the end only our hands will hurt not the rope.
Unrequited love in not a romantic notion anymore it's just a cause for severe heartache which leads to undermining your health and mental abilities to make choices. You hold back from so many things, just so they can see your persistence but dear,
           
Are they even looking?

If you are holding onto something you know will never end in your favour,
Let it go.
Let it go and feel the burden lift of your shoulder. Let go of the anxiety and depression caused by their ignorance and nonchalant attitude.
Be free in your own skin and cherish your life and yourself, because such painful love will be corrosive to you.
Sometimes we need outside help to get back on right track, find those options, your friends, family, anyone who you can bare your soul too.
And most importantly Love yourself.
You have to look out for yourself when no one else does, you have to care and pamper yourself.
So that one day when someone loves you, you can tell them how.
                    -lakaj

DEAR SOCIETY

DEAR SOCIETY

You give birth to one,
But when she laughs out loud
You ask her to behave and shut her mouth.
Though it was the same laugh
That made you feel whole when she was small
When you treated her right and loved it all.

When she grows like wind,
You want her to cage her with walls
Just because she has some doubts and questions about your norms.
Though it was the same curiosity
Which made you fill her with wonders as child without any trace of disgust and enmity.

So say now what should we do to satisfy you,
Should we burn our wings and tighten the chains
So that you won't look at us like we did something wrong
Just by being born.

Will it make you happy if we start saying yes to our every no.
What will it take to change this so that we can grow.

Let us see the end of our dreams
And struggle till our ankle turns green.
Let us be who we are and who we wanna be
Because in the end we are just women and we can't change thee.

                          -lakaj

I AM AFRAID

I am afraid,
I am afraid to show my tears and my fear
Falling down in this abyss,
I can see the ladder disappear.
I do yearn for the light ,
I did scream with all my might.
But there was none so dear,
To clear this murk and gloom atmosphere.

I am afraid,
I am afraid to share my heart And to be someone's part
Those ups and downs of endless cycle
Is not a funny art.
I do wish to be held right and cuddle tight,
I could give my all in exchange for holding hands in the dim light.
But happiness is the fleeting thing,
Desire may get content but there is no end to the suffering.

I am afraid,
I am afraid I won't be enoughand my heart won't be tough.
Cause even if I put together all the pieces of me,
In the end I am, just a scruff.
I do wish upon the falling stars,
I do hope, for you to see my beautiful scars.
But love is just a deep pitfall,
I am afraid if I fall again, I will be left with nothing at all.

                  - Kajal Panwar

STAR DUST

What if the world has full our head with lies.
What if we were all Martian but Earth stole us from our paradise.
Have you ever wondered why there so much of sea in this sphere but on Mars there is none.
What if it was all stolen from the poor planet and now it can't be undone.

Beautiful sea turned into those red desert.
Majestic creature have to leave their comfort.
Living a life hidden in caves and canyon away from bright.
Away from the site of earthling and away from the sunlight.

What if some part of our being is still there left untouched.
What we know is so less about that red Dot and there are still many years left to be researched.
After all we are made up of nothing more or northing less than just star dust.
                                  -Kajal Panwar

YOU ARE PERFECT

You are perfect

If I don't have the right proportion,
Maybe it just not meet your expectation,
Would you mind that?
Maybe my bosom are apart,
But I guarantee I do have a big heart,
Would you still find me unattractive?

 If I can give you my all,
Would you still mind that am not that tall,
Will my height would still be a bother to you?
Am a pinch of brown,
But I won't ever make you frown,
Would my color bring second thoughts to you?

These endless self-doubts,
Make us blind that love is for perfect people.
Because for ugly nobody opts,

So sweetheart, just smash the mirror,
Make them hear you loud and clear
That you don't wanna be, ever gonna be
One of those plastic fantastic barbie dear.

Just wake them up from their reality like dream,
Say it out loud, Don't hold back your scream
That you'll never fit in their self justified criteria
Of slim waist, long hair and fair skin.

Be proud of your curves,
You're a pure soul that nobody deserves.

                           -lakaj

THAT I LOVE THEE

It's not just my assumption based on biased feelings,
It's your kind gestures that make my wound appears to be healing.
Not just fluttering of heart beat or warm cozy hugs,
You make me happy even when everything sucks.

Maybe just with your short words you did something nobody ever could,
Now I'm even fallen in love with your lousy appearance, that blue jeans and that grey hood.
You push aside all my worries just with your unintentional gaze,
You don't even know yet how much those eyes make me haze.

Sometimes it's your shyness, sometimes it's your untamed wildness,
But every side of you looks new to me.
Known for pouring my heart out to everyone,
But with you I can't apprise the phrase that I love thee.

                  - Kajal Panwar

LET'S JUST STAY LIKE THIS

Sing to me, stories of our love if I ever forget you.
Make me believe, if I ever doubt about you.
Please just hold me close if nothing seems right between us.
Don't just leave me and my mind in chaos if I ever make a fuss.

Sing to me, the vows we took with hands intertwine.
Tell me all the tales, all the moments we shared under sunshine.
Whenever I mistake your actions or misinterpret you,
Just Hug me tighter and explain what I meant to you.

If there comes a day where I wish to be anywhere else but here.
Please just let me know what it would be for you without me there.
Become my everything before I ever let go of you.
Every part of me will exist in every part of you.

Let's just stay like this till the sun rises.
Let just talk slow and fall in love again whenever the moment arises.
So that the passion in our eyes never dies like an old flame.
Let's just be ours forever with little wildness and rain.

                  - kajal panwar